Relationship Patterns Worksheet
A guide to noticing how you respond, what you expect and what matters to you in relationships.
Think about your relationships generally, particularly relationships that have mattered to you across your life. You may behave differently with different people. Answer based on what feels most familiar overall.
There are 30 main statements. Some answers will open a few extra questions to help understand what may sit underneath the pattern. These extra questions are not scored.
0 – Not me 1 – A little like me 2 – Sometimes like me 3 – Often like me 4 – Very much like me
Your answers stay in this browser unless you choose to copy, download, print or share your summary.
What Matters to Me in Relationships
Choose up to five things that feel particularly important to you. This section is not scored.
0 of 5 selected
Final Reflection
These three questions are optional. Short answers are enough.
What Your Answers Suggest
Patterns That Stood Out
What Happened, What I Thought and What I Know
Relationships often leave gaps in information. We notice what happened. We may then have a thought about what it means. That thought may connect with something we already expect or believe. It may be right, partly right, or we may not have enough information yet.
What happened → What I thought it meant → What I expected or believed → What I actually knew
What Next?
This worksheet does not tell you what type of person you are. Some patterns may be strengths. Some may have helped you cope, protect yourself or manage important relationships. The useful question is whether understanding them helps you make more sense of yourself, your relationships and the choices you make within them.
If something has made you curious, surprised you or brought up a pattern you would like to understand better, you can use this summary as a starting point for a conversation in therapy.